Someday, My Prince Will Come

Tabitha's mouth tasted like cat litter- and the texture inside matched. She didn't know how long she'd been asleep, but based upon how she felt right now, it could've been an eternity. In a feat of what felt like herculean strength, she pried her eyes open. Partially.

"Fair maiden!" The voice echoed between her ears. Way too loud, way too soon. "How long you've been in waiting for your savior's arms! But fear not- I am here to bring you back to the land of those who dwell within the light!"

At this grand declaration, someone (she guessed it was him, whoever he was) threw open the leaden draperies that darkened her room. A stifling cloud of dust rose and shimmered in the blinding sunlight. Sunlight that hadn't visited there for at least a year.

Her head felt like a pulsating mass, and her body ached from its extended immobility.

"What happened? I was skinning the rabbits... no, I was assembling the potion." She thought, her throat sticky and dry. "Did I manage to get it bottled and sent away...?" her thoughts were interrupted by the touch of his hand on hers.

"My love," he crooned, kneeling by her bedside. "I know you have longed for rescue by your champion- and I am that champion." He emphasized the "I" by knocking on the breastplate of his armor for dramatic effect. "I will care for you until the end of your days."

As Tabitha slowly but surely regained consciousness, she realized he was alone. "Well I've got that going for me," she thought. "Now, what to do with this guy?" An idea materialized into her foggy mind. She put on her best pitiful expression.

"I- I'm so thirsty," she whispered. "Will you fetch me some water from that basin? It's fresh, all you need is to ask and water will flow freely there. You can fill the pitcher on the table here." She gestured weakly to a silver pitcher by her bedside.

"Why, methinks you must still be in the realm of dreams, fair maiden!" He laughed heartily. "What magic must've swum through your pretty head whilst you were asleep!"

"Humor me, my love," she said, gritting her teeth. If she wasn't so weak, she would've punched him in his stupid, handsome face.

The prince regarded her for a moment- his crystal blue eyes twinkling. "Whatever you desire, my sparrow," he bowed condescendingly. His shock was palpable when the basin morphed into a fountain of spring water, fresh and clean. He filled the silver pitcher and brought it to her bedside.

"What wizardry is this?!" He demanded incredulously, voice booming throughout the room. "What dark magic presides in this forsaken room that conjures water where there was none?"

"Good Goddess's green panties, he's a drama queen." She thought to herself.

"Please," she whispered daintily. "I must drink, then I will explain all to you, my husband." She took a long, cautious sip from the pitcher and felt the rush of vitality fill her.

"Behold!" He exclaimed. "The color returns to your cheeks even now, as lovely as the blush of a rose in bloom!"

"Yes," she whispered, looking as seductive as possible for a woman who'd been asleep for at least a year.

"Now, only a kiss from my savior can complete my recovery." She reached for him, cupping the back of his neck with her long, slender fingers, pulling his lips toward hers.

Their lips barely brushed before he turned limp and heavy as a sack of bricks. She grunted under his considerable weight and wiggled out from underneath him. She rolled over but misjudged her distance to the side of the bed, and fell to the floor with a dense thump.

"Esme!!!" She called as loud as she could, hacking and coughing as her throat constricted. "Esmeralda!! Where the hell are you??"

A sleek black cat sauntered into the room, rubbing her chin against the door jamb leisurely. Tabitha chanted a quick spell, and the cat morphed into a slender, impish girl.

"Sorry mistress!" Said the newly transformed girl. She rushed to the bedside, grunting as she helped her mistress from the floor.

"It took a while before I could get someone's attention." She gestured to the unconscious prince. "I wanted to lead him here but thought it best if I kept my distance. You know, in case he tried to throw me off the landing like the last one."

Tabitha clicked her tongue and pulled the young girl in for a hug. Esme's nose wrinkled.

Tabitha laughed. "You'd stink too if you'd been asleep for at least a year! Anyway, you poor thing, you must've been frightened out of your wits!"

"I was ok, mum. Just worried about setting you straight again." She chuckled. "He didn't figure it out right away, but eventually, he found his way up here on his own."

"It's ok Esme. You did the right thing."

They both looked at the prince, passed out and snoring on the wooden floor. He was beginning to drool.

"What should we..." Esme began before her mistress interrupted.

"Let's deal with that later, shall we? For now, let's get some sustenance here, I'm starving."

"Yes, mum," said Esme. "And so's you know, the reanimation potion you assembled for the Dutchess is what knocked you out. I think there must've been a miscalculation with the..."

"Ugh! The rabbit! I remember now... wrong species." Tabitha shook her head. "What a stupid rookie mistake."

"Thanks for changing me back before you passed out, anyway," said Esme. "It would've sucked to be human for a whole year!"

Tabitha laughed so hard, she snorted. "Yeah, it would've! Just ask that guy!"

Esme beamed at her mentor. "It really is good to have you back, mum."

"Good to be back." She replied as they shuffled slowly out the bedroom door, arm-in-arm toward the kitchen.